Several years ago I was on my way to a friend's house when I saw two elderly ladies trying to help a disabled, elderly man out of a car. All three were very old, but the man clearly could not move his legs well and there was a walker sitting on the sidewalk just outside of the car door. They must have been there for a little while trying to figure out how to get him out of the car and into the house because there was frustration in the sound of their voices and when I looked closely I could see that the man had urinated on himself. This obviously caused more distress to the situation.

I quickly went over to them to help the man out of the car. He was considerably taller than me, and heavy, but I managed to get him out of the car and into his apartment without too much trouble. I was in my late twenties at the time and very fit, so it was easier for me to have him lean on me than to have the two ladies assist me with helping him into the house. All three were very grateful and helping them only took about fifteen minutes out of my day.

I relate this story only because it is so easy to selflessly give to complete strangers sometimes and yet, small infractions by those we love are felt like enormous barbs and we can't remember to love. This happened to me this weekend. My feelings were hurt by a friend and it took me three full days to realize that I was so caught up in my hurt and feelings of injustice that I had forgotten to just love her. I was busy trying to justify my actions and making myself feel "right" when suddenly it occurred to me that none of that mattered. I could just love her. I would not lose anything by "giving in".

It is true that in this circumstance many people would have agreed that I was, indeed, justified in my hurt and that she should have behaved differently, but in the end, the only one that I can change is me. I may look like a fool to others in this circumstance. Loving is often perceived as foolishness.

I have come to believe that I need to examine my motivation for doing ANYTHING. Meaning, if I do something for someone, it is to be done with absolutely no expectation that that person will reciprocate anything. If I cannot approach my giving situations with this attitude, then it is best that I not "give" in that situation.

I'm working on being a foolish lover. When I am in the presence of the angels I feel love beyond the likes of which I can explain. It is absolutely pure and unselfish in any way. Its the type of love that we all wish to feel. It is also one of the most important lessons that they constantly teach me. So here I am working on it. I'm trying to let go of those old friends named, hurt and injustice and welcome in that little known friend called love.
Cheryl